SEEK 51 – Effective Prayer
Question: How can I pray so that God answers my prayers?
Bible Reading: Matthew 6:5-15
Text: “This then is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name” (Matthew 6:9)
Prayer is difficult. Prayer is simple. Prayer is effective. Prayer is not a formula. Which is why your question needs to be rephrased or at least explained further. If you think that there is a formula for prayer: one Lord’s prayer plus two hail Marys plus three from the Book of Common Prayer plus one week of 24/7 prayer, plus raising hands, kneeling or fasting, equals God’s answer – you have completely misunderstood prayer.
Some people think that if God doesn’t answer their prayer to pass their exam, get money or heal their cat then clearly God does not exist. They are right. The God who is at our beck and call, who is simply there like some kind of divine slot machine to give us what we ask does not exist. The God who has revealed himself to us in Scripture does. So, it is perhaps best to ask how he wants us to pray.
That is what the disciples did and Jesus in Matthew 6, answered by teaching them what we know as the Lord’s Prayer. In ASK 39 and 40 we looked at this question of prayer and mentioned a great book on the subject Tim Keller’s Prayer – Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God. You will notice the title. It is not ‘how to get God to answer your prayers’, but rather how prayer enables us to know God better. There are very few books that have had such an impact upon me as this one. Not because it is the best book on prayer, but because it is like a compilation of all the best books I have read on prayer. Since I read it, I have changed the way I pray. Every day I use the Lord’s prayer – not as a magic formula – but rather as a pattern. Every day I use the book of prayers in the Bible – the Psalms. And every day I make sure that I read the Bible as the greatest aid to prayer.
Personally, I think the weakest area of my life is prayer. Not particularly in terms of answered prayer. I know that God always answers my prayers, when these prayers are requests, as he does yours. His answers can be split into three types – yes, no and wait.
Our prayers should not first of all be about our requests. They should be about God’s glory. They should be praise before they are pleas. And when we ask, we need to ask in accordance with his will. When Jesus said, “I will do whatever you ask for in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” (John 14:13) he was not giving a blank cheque to indulge our desires. He was telling us that when we pray in his name, in accordance with his will and seeking his glory, that will be given.
But how do we know what his will is? His revealed will is revealed in the Scriptures. Therefore, I can pray with confidence for God to save people, because that is what he has promised to do. It’s what some older Christians called ‘praying the promises’. But in order to pray them you need to know them.
So, what about the things that are not revealed in the Scriptures? For example, you may be praying about who you should marry. When Annabel was my girlfriend, I was thinking about whether I should propose. I got two very differing bits of advice. One older minister said to me, “Do you love her? Can she cook? And does she know you are going to be a minister and is she supportive of that?”. If the answer was yes, then I should just get on with it! Another friend said that I should ask the Lord and he would reveal it to me through the Scriptures. He gave his own example – “I prayed, and I read in the Song of Solomon – ‘behold the rose of Sharon’ so I married Sharon! I handed him a Bible and asked him to find Annabel in it for me!
We have to think about these things for ourselves. We use the principles of God’s word – but God’s word does not tell us exactly who to marry, or what job to do, or where we should live. But we can and should pray for guidance.
The book of James has some great principles for prayer for us. If we lack wisdom, we are to ask God in faith that he will grant it to us (ch.1 :5-8). We must humbly accept the word planted in us and do it as well as hear it (ch.1:22-25). When we ask God, we should do with right motives, not just seeking things for ourselves (ch.4:1-3). We should submit to God, come near to him, humble ourselves before the Lord and he will come to us and lift us up (ch.4:7-10). We pray when we are in trouble, we confess our sins to each other and then we will know what it is to be like Elijah. “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective”.
And there is the secret to effective prayer. To be right with God, seeking his heart and submitting to his will. Your will be done.
Consider: Think about your own prayer life. Is it regular or spasmodic? Is it all about you? Or other people? Or God? Do you pray with other people? Why do you think it is that for most people, the church prayer meeting is the one that they are least likely to go to? Do you think it is ok to read written prayers? Do you have a prayer partner? If you are not a Christian, have you ever prayed to God to reveal himself to you, and to make you a Christian?
Further Reading:
Prayer – Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God – Tim Keller
Booklet on Prayer – John Calvin
The Valley of Vision – A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions.
Prayer: I call to you Lord, come quickly to me; hear me when I call to you. May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting of my hands be like the evening sacrifice” (Psalm 141:1-2)
Coffee and Colossians 107 – Devoted Prayer

Thank you for your practical guidance.
In a brief way of explanation God does show us who to marry, even if He does not get their name written down on a wall or on paper to get us to see clearly who He has in mind.
God does answer prayer specifically so that we know precisely what He is saying.
If not, we could come to lack assurance and often wonder if He is not that personal. We could be thinking we are mistaken that we went to PNG to suffer all the heat, disease and no converts and get no personal comfort either!
We could conclude maybe He’s distant and can never be personally close so I can’t tell Him everything and He will always be my best friend?
Maybe I could see Him as only close to certain persons and to say the APOSTLE JOHN whom He loved and spared martyrdom or He was just close to some in the Bible but not to others then or now? For example, He was rough on Ananias and Saphira and John the Baptist. True the APOSTLES mostly died by martyrdom but that was right at the end of their lives.
I think part of intimacy and assurance is that He answers specific prayer like that He will tell you who your life marriage partner is.
I’m afraid not only is that not true or biblical but it can be profoundly dangerous. The notion that God for example gives us specific guidance about who to marry can cause great heartache and difficulty. The notion that we always know precisely what God is saying about our own lives exactly the same.
Just because God does not give specific guidance about everything you ask does not mean that he is distant.
By definition anyone who dies from martyrdom does so at the end of their lives! If you mean when they were old – that is not the case….James for example died in his mid 30’s.
It is much better to pray as Jesus taught us to pray with him as the focus – not ourselves.