Last year I received the following lovely e-mail….
On 21 November 2018 at 13:41:06, chowjjjj@netvigator.com (chowjjjj@netvigator.com) wrote: Hi, David
If you’ve recently been much more careful, you would not have received this message. I really do not consider that cheating is a rare issue, but if your partner discovers regarding it, and also all your family, buddies on The facebook in conjunction with images and video, i truly doubt that they might enjoy it.
I have been following your ass, lately, and have been shooting pics of what you do in your spare time. In my opinion your friends and family aren’t going to be pleased if they find out real truth. I’ve been right after you throughout the town for a week, and have plenty of facts to mess up your entire xxxx life.
U have only a single opportunity to repair it all … I’m giving you 24 hours to send me 4800 dollars. This will be good enough for me personally to leave you alone forever. It’s up to you to make the decision and pick at this point.
This really is your final choice, if you wish me to forget about this whole stuff, then the following is my btc wallet: 185geyuQhxxdYNEvVG7abRdTJTuWBuL8d6 (BTC)
Never try to get hold of me or the officials, I use hacked mail box to ensure that the authorities won’t be able to find me, otherwise I will immediately send shots and videos to everybody you ever knew.
After opening this message, you have only one day, I am checking my btc account wallet regularly, if in time period provided I don’t obtain anything, I am going to react.
Do Not Reply to This Email – This is trydisposable email.
Dear Chow (or whoever you are),
I’m afraid that you have wasted your time trying to con money out of me. I have been 
thinking about your threat to expose what I do in my spare time. I do confess that there are one or two things that I feel a wee bit guilty for – I occasionally pop into McDonalds for a sausage, egg and cheese bagel breakfast. Sometimes at the office I watch a YouTube video (not I suspect the type you would want, but if you want to blackmail me for occasionally watching Britain’s Got Talent or Jacob Rees-Mogg or the one I feel guiltiest about, God TV, then feel free…I’ll come clean) and sometimes when I would be better of praying, I sit and play a game of chess on my Iphone. As regards what I do around town….you will find me in the Sicilian cafe, the Tartan and Blend. There I meet with many different men and women, my brothers and sisters in Christ (or those I long to become my brothers and sisters) – sorry but the only romantic assignations are with my wife…
Occasionally I yield to temptation I do like to walk the streets and try to take a different route to work everyday – but that’s because I like to pray for the city as I walk through it. I will also confess that I am a bit of a voyeur – I love people watching. I am fascinated by people, their faces and stories. But again I doubt that is what you are referring to. I also love going to the cinema – the only trouble for you is that I go to the DCA with my wife to watch real ‘arty’ films as well as mainstream ones. You can often read the reviews on this blog – Saturday Review 1 – Stan and Ollie; Middlemarch; Les Miserables
I don’t do internet porn, I don’t secretly drink (although I do have an occasional dram) and I don’t meet with secret societies. You will often find me meeting in public, quite openly, with my Christian brothers and sisters. You are welcome to come and join us anytime.
In short I’m afraid that there is nothing for you to blackmail me about. Your scam and lies just do not work here. Note that I am not claiming perfection. I am a sinner (someone whose heart is black and whose life is tainted by the sins of self, pride, greed etc) but there is nothing I could pay that would cover those up. And there is nothing you could do to cover up or pay for my sin. Thankfully someone has paid the price for my sin. In the words of a song we sing;
Jesus paid it all,
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow
And when before the throne
I stand in him complete
Jesus died my soul to save
My lips shall still repeat
I am far worse than you suggest, and far more loved than you could ever imagine. Your attempt at blackmail is weak, ignorant, fearful and evil. I urge you simply to think about your own conduct and your own life. I don’t threaten you and I would never attempt to blackmail you. But I do urge you to think about the fact that one day you will stand before the judgement seat of God and there have to give account of every deed done, whether good or evil (including the evil of attempting to exploit and blackmail innocent people). You won’t be able to bribe your way out of that one. So I urge you freely to turn and seek Christ….
“Come, all of you who thirst, come to the waters; and you without money, come, buy, and eat! Come, buy wine and milk, without money and without cost! Why spend money on that which is not bread, and your labor on that which does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of foods.…(Isaiah 55:1-2).
May God forgive you, and may you come to know Christ,
Yours
David
Hilarious!
Glad you send ”him” packing – with a flea in his ear to boot!
Sadly, many people fall for such threats and believe these criminals actually have a line on those they send such emails to.
But then, people have been guilt-tripped in believing lots of things.
So sad.
Now, I don’t suppose Mr (or Mrs, who knows?) Chow sent a response?
Not yet!
Think Chow might have to work on his grammar. Nothing works against the veracity of a blackmail letter like bad grammar! LOL
Your response is gracious and kind – well written.
Well it’s out of the bag. Your wife now knows about those surreptitious visit’s to McDonald’s. Sadly the perpetrator will probably never read these words. But perhaps many more will through this blog.
It’s rather like the telephone calls I get purporting to come from BT and telling me there is some ghastly fault with my internet connection/ computer or whatever. They also warn me of dire consequences within the next 24 hours.
Then there are the similar one that purport to come from the Microsoft Technical Centre. These tend to come from a real person and when I have nothing better to do I like to string them along pretending to do all the things they tell me to do on my computer. But after a while I can’t keep up the pretence any longer and burst into laughter.
Well said sir!
Nice! I get a lot of phone calls from people claiming that they are calling from a legitimate company (usually Microsoft or the phone company), saying there is something wrong with my computer. I tell them that I know that they are lying, and proceed to tell them as much of the gospel as I can before they hang up! Most of the time I don’t get far, but one day the caller started crying, and he told me that he was a Christian, and that he was never going to do one of those phone calls again. His name was Daniel, and I have been praying for him occasionally since then, that he would find an honest job and walk with the Lord.
And I thought the Yahoo Yahoo boys here in Nigeria are bad..This guy is definitely an amateur…Lovely response, David. And you also did the right thing injecting that reminder about divine judgement..
We at work in Florida USA received exactly the same email from the same person.