Gay Girl, Good God

‘Oh no’ I thought[‘ here we go again’. Yet another memoir on being a gay Christian. But I had heard this girl was good…..so I ordered Gay Girl, Good God in the hope that it might not be bad. I was wrong….it is superb!   This is the book that Vicky Beeching should have written!

downloadThere is so much that is good about it. It is really well written…as a hip hop artist, poet and writer, you would expect Jackie to be good with words – and your expectations will not be disappointed. I actually found this book hard to put down. She manages to combine a beautiful way of writing with a great story – and the hardest thing of all – a story that ends up not being about the gay girl but the Good God.

I couldn’t help but contrast it with Vicky Beeching’s ‘Undivided”. And the contrast is stark. Jackie’s story is about how she started off having an identity in sexuality and ended up with her identity in God. Vicky’s is about starting with her identity as a Christian artist/theologian and ending up with a new identity as a gay rights activist.   Jackie’s book honours Scripture and glorifies Christ…Vicky’s denigrates Scripture (by twisting and changing it to suit her views) and demeans Christ (by turning him into nothing more than a cheer leader for the current ‘liberal’ zeitgeist).

One other difference – Vicky is welcomed and lauded by the secular media – she is the new darling of the anti-Christian establishment, with regular appearances on secular tv, radio and in parliament and the big companies. I guarantee Jackie, (despite being a black female rapper!) will not be invited on to the BBC, Sky or CNN!   The sad thing for me is that even mainstream Christian news outlets give far more publicity to Vicky Beeching than to Jackie Hill Perry.   Just go on to any of them and ‘search’ the two names and see who has the most mentions and the most articles. It’s a sad day when we publicise heretics and silence the faithful!

Gay Girl, Good God, is highly recommended. Get two copies (ASAP – before Vicky gets her way and books like this are banned for being ‘conversion therapy- which it isn’t!)  – one for yourself and one to pass on.   And My Christian book of the year so far….(I love the sub-title – The Story of who I was, and who God still is. 

In this video Jackie tells us about the book….

 

Here are some quotes that will give you a flavour.

In believing the devil, I didn’t need a pentagram pendant to wear, neither did I need to memorise a hex or two.

Love, as I’d understood it – through my mama– wasn’t like the wind. Indifference was like that. Wind and indifference went wherever it pleased. Settling down when it benefited, moving on without warning, even if it ripped a home or two apart on the way. Love was like the sun – always there. It might have looked like it was moving – but it was forever still. Daddy couldn’t stay put, so as far as I was concerned, Danny didn’t love me.”p.31

“Sexual abuse, for me, turned male intimacy into an undignified practice of the male ego, to which I would only be a body to conquer and not a person to love.” P.37

“As much as I wanted to believe God grinned when He thought of my life, I knew He didn’t.” P.59

“In my mind, choosing God was the same as choosing heterosexuality.… I now know what I didn’t know then. God was not calling me to be straight; he was calling me to himself. The choice to lay aside sin and take hold of holiness was not synonymous with heterosexuality.… In my becoming holy as he is, I would not be miraculously made into a woman that didn’t like women; I be made into a woman that love God more than anything.” P.69

“Who gave mercy my address? Or told it how to get to my room? Didn’t it know a sinner lived in it? On the way down the hall, shouldn’t the smell of idols kept its feet from moving any closer.” P75

“Death was the Goliath no stone could defeat and the Red Sea no staff could part.” P 81

“is this what it feels like to be a Christian? I thought to myself. Is it to have a quiet war inside of yourself at all times? Wanting God over a woman was an entirely new experience for me. It wasn’t even something I considered as being a part of Christianity, let alone the Christian. It seemed to be a religion of just duty. I’ve met so many disciples who preached more of sin than joy, whose eyes were stuck in a constant state of solemnity, clenched teeth and an endless fascination with holiness. Why haven’t they ever mentioned the place happiness had within righteousness, or how the taking up of the cross would be a practice of obtaining delight? Delight in all that God is? Even their saviour had this kind of joy in mind as he endured his cross. So why haven’t they set their focus on the same? In their defence, they were not to blame for my unbelief. I just wonder if they would have told me about the beauty of God just as much, if not more, than they told me about the horridness of hell, if I would have burned my idols at a faster place.” P 84

“to my surprise, being a Christian delivered me from the power of sin but in no way did it remove the possibility of temptation. A common lie thrown far and wide is that if salvation has truly come to someone who is same-sex attracted, then those attractions should immediately vanish.” P 87

“a man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness – they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because he was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means – the only complete realist. CS Lewis” P 88

“It was up to me to believe him. His word was authoritative, active, sharp. In it, God spoke and showed us what he is like, how much better he was than anything that had been made, how eligible he was to be our joy, our peace, our portion, how trusting him, if even a little at a time, would move mountains – the biggest one, being me.” P 90

“The gay community is called that for a reason. It is a community. A collective of people with different names, social statuses, eating habits, upbringings and more but with one commonality shared among them that make them all more alike than not: their sexuality…… The difference between the gay community and the Christian community. Was not skill, intellect, comfort, humour, or beauty; it was that in one and not the other, God dwelled.” P 94.

download-1“I didn’t expect a baby to find their way included in it so soon though. I figured it would have been better for them and me if they chose to arrive after I’d learned how to hug more often and cry less silently.” P116.

“I’ve been told plenty of times, by more people than I preferred, that my face looked more solemn than safe.” P120.

 

“He wasn’t my friend any more. He was a threat. Because he was a man. And men hurt things, people, me. They always did. They always hurt what they touch. Like they came into this world only to feed off the bones of women.” P127.

“I couldn’t let fear hold my hand. Even though it was a familiar palm, a consistent one even, I knew it would only work to separate what God was going to join together.” P137.

“marriage was the way God wanted me to glorify him. Becoming one flesh would not complete me. Marriage is not what would make me whole, but it would be God’s work in and through my marriage, along with whatever else the Potter chose to use to shape me as his clay that would. God was my first love.” P139.

“do you know why we have a hard time believing that a gay girl can become a completely different creature? Because, we have a hard time believing God. The Pharisees saw the man born blind, heard his testimony, heard about his past and how it was completely different from the present one, and refused to believe the miracle because of Who the miracle pointed to.” P145.

“I don’t believe it is wise or truthful to the power of the gospel to identify oneself by the sins of one’s past or the temptations of one’s present but rather to only be defined by the Christ who is overcome both for those He calls His own. All men and women, including myself, that are well acquainted with sexual temptation are ultimately not what our temptation says of us. We are what Christ has done for us; therefore, our ultimate identity is very simple: we are Christians.” P148.

“LGBT culture has done an excellent job of renewing or should I say, destroying, the mind of many, mainly by consistently using words as the greatest tool in their efforts to draw people into finding greater joy in identifying with their sin rather than their creator.” P149.

“So, the burden for SSA Christians – when it comes to identity – is not to learn more about themselves or how to “become a better you” as an entry into self empowerment. It is to renew the mind so that men and women begin seeing themselves in light of who God has revealed himself to be so that they can glorify him in the ways he commanded. This happens among community, with much prayer, and with a consistent, thoughtful internalising of the word of God.” P151

1 . Identity of Sin – God is beautiful

“there will come a day or two or many for the SSA Christian when the affections for which they once delighted in will whisper for them to return. It will whisper the promise of joy and fulfilment. But it will feel more true than it is, for sin can never deliver on its promise to make us happy. Vomit will always be vomit even if drizzled with chocolate, sliced almonds, and a cherry on top (2 Peter 2:21 to 22).” P152.

  1. Identity of a Saint – You are not your temptation.
  2. Identity of the Church – You are not alone.
  3. Identity of God – GA is better than you can imagine.

“And for so many others, unbelief has convinced them that they can serve both God and homosexuality. Both God and flesh. Both sin and Saviour. For this, we know, is impossible.” P173.

“Jesus didn’t endure because he was strong; he was most likely at one of the weakest points of his humanity, but he endure because he loved his God.” P174.

Chapter 17 – same-sex attraction and the heterosexual gospel- is a stunning chapter in its own right…should be read by every Christian.

God isn’t calling gay people to be straight.

You’d think he was by listening to the way Christians try to encourage same-sex attracted people within, or outside, their local churches. They dangle the possibility of heterosexual marriage above their heads, point to it like it’s heaven on a string, something to grab and get on with. And though it’s usually well-meaning, it’s very dangerous. Why? Because it puts more emphasis on marriage as the goal of the Christian life than knowing Jesus.” P177.

  1. We are more than our sexuality
  2. marriage is not the pinnacle of the Christian faith
  3. singleness is not a curse
  4. evangelism is about God

“the most alarming problem with the heterosexual gospel is that it is no gospel at all. It’s missionaries carry into the world a message unable to save and set free.” P190.

And this is such a great way to finish!

“I didn’t want you to come and hear about me. I’m not the one who’s done anything for my soul. I’d only done things to it. But what God has done to my soul is worth telling because he is worth knowing. Worth seeing. Worth hearing. Worth loving, and trusting, and exalting. My telling is, as I’ve said before, my praise.” P192.

I love this wee clip of her talking about the bible as well..

 

 

 

 

41 thoughts on “Gay Girl, Good God

  1. Rev. Robertson, this is not good. I’m surprised you don’t see the major errors in this allegedly conservative approach to homosexuality. Have you read ‘The Grace of Shame’ by Tim Bayly & co-pastors? It will open your eyes to why this kind of thing is exactly not what you want to be getting on board with. I sent you a copy a while back, but will happily send you another if you would read it.

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    1. I’m sorry I have no idea what you are talking about. Have you read the book and could you tell us what is wrong with it? What is ‘this kind of thing’ that you are talking about? I’m afraid I did not get your book….

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      1. Two errors are immediately apparent from your extensive quotes:

        First, she (and apparently you?) is on board with Christians identifying themselves by their besetting sin: note her use of present-tense ‘SSA Christians’ and the ambiguously titled ‘gay girl’. When, in the history the Christian faith have believers ever identified themselves by their besetting sins? We never have Christians going round labelling themselves as ‘pedophile Christians’ (celibate, of course) or ‘animal-attracted Christians’. Why? Because the sense of shame surrounding those sins still exists. But homosexuality demands to be treated preciously. What is rapidly being lost is the God-given protection of shame.

        Second, you enthusiastically endorse the ‘God isn’t calling gay people to be straight’ and ‘Don’t preach a heterosexual gospel’ line. You can read about what is going on with this tack here, an excerpt from the book I referenced previously:

        https://warhornmedia.com/2017/10/20/grace-shame-gospel-coalition-pedophilia/

        https://warhornmedia.com/2017/10/24/grace-shame-gospel-coalitions-godliness-not-heterosexuality-2/

        But please, read the whole book, it relatively short and will make you wise to a whole host of errors that conservative evangelicals are busy promoting when it comes to homosexuality, and which show through in your own writings, too. Kind regards,

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      2. Its always very dangerous to make judgements and comments based upon things you havn’t read. Even worse when you seemed to have misread the article! She is clearly NOT on board for Christians to identify themselves by their besetting sins – as this quote shows.

        “I don’t believe it is wise or truthful to the power of the gospel to identify oneself by the sins of one’s past or the temptations of one’s present but rather to only be defined by the Christ who is overcome both for those He calls His own. All men and women, including myself, that are well acquainted with sexual temptation are ultimately not what our temptation says of us. We are what Christ has done for us; therefore, our ultimate identity is very simple: we are Christians.” P148.

        And you clearly don’t understand what she means by God is not calling me to be straight. She is saying that we are not identified by our sexuality.

        I read the articles you posted. Disappointing – the self-righteous tone and attack on the Gospel Coalition was depressing…no thanks. I prefer to get my theology from the Bible!

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    2. Henry, please send me a copy of “The Grace of Shame” too. I’d like please to have the chance to read it, even if the Reverend Robertson cannot remember receiving a copy, or maybe didn’t receive the copy you sent him.

      The doctrine of so-called “sexual orientation” isn’t biblical or Christian. I have tackled David in the past over his credence of that doctrine, and over his pedantically-semantic denials that he is homophobic himself. I am a self-outed, ex-gay (so-to-speak) “homophobe” in the nicest possible Wikipedia sense. I hate hate speech aimed against homophobic people like me, by brother homophobes who protest that they are “not homophobic”, like David. I thank God for making me homophobic. ’twas His grace that taught my heart to fear homosexuality, and which that fear eventually relieved.

      We can expect a variety of different books these days. Some will affirm the LGBT “sexual orientation” doctrine. Others will deny it. David has reviewed here one book on the spectrum. David celebrates that book, but you lament it. I am unlikely to buy and read the book, even though I’d be delighted to correspond with its writer.

      I hope your complaint isn’t just that somebody who is influenced to make statements about her self-expressed characteristics in terms of an LGBT “sexual orientation” false doctrine (i.e. implying that she is now or once was a “gay girl” herself, rather than she repudiates the entire system of LGBT thought whereby – it is said, as though it was a matter of science – that some people just happen to be gay) … That somebody like that rejects so-called gay pride etc, but that we still ought to be wary of her because her shame at having once identified and behaved as gay isn’t conspicuously remorseful enough.

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      1. What a strange and confused and slightly cynical post! No one has a ‘doctrine of sexual orientation’. What a bizarre thing to accuse me of homophobic ‘hate speech’ whilst at the same time thanking God that he made you homophobic! I don’t fear either homosexuals or homosexuality. I fear God. Thats all.

        You comment on a book that you have not read and make statements about what it says (based purely on your presumptions about what you think it will say). That is, to say the least, not wise. And you accuse her of not being remorseful enough – although you havn’t read what she has said and therefore have no way of knowing….

        A strange post…

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      2. You have misunderstood what you call my “strange” post very badly indeed. There is no criticism of you in it for hate speech. An example of “hate speech”, is the slogan, “eradicate homophobia”, with its implicit threat of the proposed cultural genocide of Christian believers who refuse to confess the LGBT doctrines.

        There is no criticism of the book you reviewed either, or of the book that you were told you ought to read, of which I asked for a copy myself. There was only a feeble attempt on my part to guess what the book for which I was asking for a copy might say, based only upon the title.

        The doctrine of “sexual orientation” is not in the bible. It is a secular doctrine, that individuals have so-called “sexual orientations”. This doctrine dates back only as far as the nineteenth century. Without realising it, many otherwise sound Christians have been unconsciously teaching that secular doctrine. We have all been exposed to it relentlessly through the media, which promotes the doctrine. Often we don’t even notice that we are believing a false doctrine when we find ourselves talking using the language of the LGBT movement.

        The nineteenth century was when “sexual orientation” was invented. Before that, nobody used words like “homosexual” and “heterosexual” about individuals. They didn’t have different words for the concept either. They didn’t have that concept at all. By adopting the post 19th century language and concepts of the world, many who teach in the church have implicitly endorsed a doctrine that the apostles had never heard expressed, but would have rejected if they had. Leviticus does not “condemn gay people”. The church has no “discrimination” and nothing else to apologise to LGBT people for, in Perth or elsewhere. The bible-writers do not discuss the perverted behaviours forbidden by God in terms of different classes of individual at all. That is the defective way in which we are nowadays indoctrinated to think about sexual perversions. There has been resistance, leading to attempts to indoctrinate younger and younger children in LGBT doctrines, including the doctrine of “sexual orientation”.

        Wikipedia says that, “Homophobia encompasses a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuality or people who are identified or perceived as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT). It has been defined as contempt, prejudice, aversion, hatred or antipathy, may be based on irrational fear, and is often related to religious beliefs.” A Christian ought to be on this homophobic spectrum. We ought to flee from all that is sinful. Perhaps you are so made perfect in love that you have no need to pray “lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil”, or can safely pray that part of the Lord’s prayer insincerely, because you are not afraid of evil, nor attracted to sin. Many of us cannot afford the luxury of declaring ourselves not to be homophobic (in the Wikipedia sense).

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      3. Rev. Robertson, I see you have not attempted to engage the evidence I presented. You can quote her saying another thing, but all this proves is that she is guilty of doublespeak. Once again, she refers to those tempted by sodomy as ‘SSA Christians’. The besetting sin ‘SSA’ is appended as a label to ‘Christian’. Thus, the Christian is identified with their besetting sin.

        It is irrelevant that I have not read the book, she has written other articles before on the web that have made her views clear, and in this case my judgement is based the extensive quotes you have provided – the very quotes you then skip over when berating me for not reading the book!

        Regarding the ‘attack’ on the Gospel Coalition, perhaps you live in the celebrity evangelical bubble but this is not an isolated voice. These men are pastors with decades of experience in ministering to those tempted by homosexuality, and God has given the fruit (if you cared to read). To dismiss their wisdom without an argument by merely a ‘tone’ charge is exactly kind of response I suspect you sometimes get from others – and are not persuaded by.

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      4. I looked at your ‘evidence’….not convincing….and yes I do think there are people who are SSA Christians, just as there are alcoholic Christians and those who are tempted to overeat. And those who are tempted to be overrightoues and over zealous! I don’t live in any celebrity evangelical bubble, nor do I live in some kind of narrow minded and twisted self-righteous bubble….and yes God has enormously blessed the ministry of many men in the Gospel Coalition – whose shoes I am not worthy to untie. It tires and depresses me when people attack faithful servants – its almost as if they think it will compensate for their own small mindedness and failures….I prefer not to be depressed by such nonsense…

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  2. “In my mind, choosing God was the same as choosing heterosexuality.… I now know what I didn’t know then. God was not calling me to be straight; he was calling me to himself. The choice to lay aside sin and take hold of holiness was not synonymous with heterosexuality.… In my becoming holy as he is, I would not be miraculously made into a woman that didn’t like women; I be made into a woman that love God more than anything.” P.69

    I now understand more fully the wonderful words of liberty to live and find identity in Jesus Christ. Just as Lena says, ” Awesome !

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  3. If this author has turned away from homosexuality because she has found inner peace and healing from God, then I rejoice with her.

    Please don’t extrapolate anything from that about Vicky Beeching, who did everything conceivable over 15+ years to ask God to take away her same-sex attraction.

    Life and faith is so much more complicated than that!

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  4. I don’t understand some of the posts here. It sounds like a good book and from what I can see the author makes a good point about heterosexuality is not the objective of coming to god.
    Jesus himself was celibate. He talked about those who are eunuchs for the sake of god and that it is better not to marry for some. The calling is to holiness NOT heterosexuality. Heterosexuality isn’t a carrot that should be dangled to get people to convert, it isn’t needed, it’s a distraction from God.
    I sometimes think heterosexuals judge homosexuals whilst themselves being sinful, there are many heterosexuals that are promiscuous or have affairs, but seem to think they are less sinful. They would rather point the finger at others whilst ignoring their own sins. Being a heterosexual doesn’t equate to holiness.

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  5. Ok, so whilst I agree that sexual orientation isn’t a valid category of person, someone may well say that they are a SSA/Gay Christian who rejects their attractions and still be a Christian. This is the position of Sam Allberry and many other people involved in ministry to the LGBT identifying. It is merely describing a specific temptation which while not morally neutral, does have specific implications.

    Now I am one of those people that has been delivered from LGBT identification and am soon to be married to a woman. I consider Jackie Hill Perry and Roseria Butterfield as very brave women who are sisters in Christ, though I agree more with the latter. I think it’s unhelpful to assume the worst of “post-gay” individuals and shows a complete lack of grace and dareisay borderline Donatism to not allow those who sincerely repent and seek to follow Christ into the fold.

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  6. Interesting, but it’s unfair to compare two totally different people who have two totally different journeys and stories. First off, Jackie is ten years younger than Vicky, and Jackie lived a life of depravity giving full vent to her sexuality before going “straight” (but maybe she was bi-sexual all along who knows?), whereas Vicky lived a life of celibacy (suppressing her sexuality) – you just can’t compare the two, it’s unkind to do so really because Vicky could not write a book like Jackie’s because she never lived a life of immorality and promiscuity like Jackie did.

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    1. Yes – you can compare – because its about their attitude to Scripture , God and identity. Jackie acknowledges the truth of Scripture and seeks to change her behaviour accordingly…Vicky denies the truth of Scripture and seeks to change it to suit her behaviour…

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      1. I am surprised that you as a Pastor/Minsiter are making a comparison at all to be honest. I would have thought you would have understood that comparing someone who has lived a life of depravity but then found Christ and experienced the opportunity to have a clean fresh start to someone who was brought up as a Christian and lived a holy life according to Scripture but experienced the weight of loneliness and terrible shame and guilt because of Scripture, is not comparing like with like and so any comparison is inappropriate.

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      2. Why? I make my comparisons based on Scripture….what does it say? I have no idea if Vicky lived a ‘holy’ life. I can’t judge that. I was only commenting on what she herself had written in her book. She denies what the Bible says. Jackie affirms it. Thats a big difference!

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  7. Well a true comparison would be to see how Jackie would cope if she had walked in Vicky’s shoes and vice versa but we’re never going to know that. So I still think the comparison is invalid.

    However you have made a judgement about their personal stories based on Scripture, and you are perfectly entitled and have the right to do that.

    The interesting thing will be the future for them both – will Jackie stick the course of staying married to a man for 30 or 40 years I wonder? ….. and what will their lives be like in 30 or 40 years time? …….it would be interesting to know – but alas neither you or myself will be around to witness that probably. Jackie is particularly young at 29. I hope things work out for her.

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    1. ” you have made a judgment about their personal stories based on Scripture”

      Babs, the way I interpreted David’s piece, he wasn’t making a judgment about “personal stories”, but about faithfulness, love of the brethren and truth. Each woman who had written a book had a testimony, one of sins forgiven, causing her to love much, the other of how wrong everybody else in the church had been, leading her to miss out unnecessarily on “love” from which the first had repented. The apostasy of the latter consists of turning against the church publicly and courting the love of the world that hates the church and acclaims her as a heroine of “spirituality” for turning against her brethren so spectacularly.

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      1. Well it’s not my concern to defend Vicky, but the fact that she had a breakdown and was suicidal because of the sadness in her life caused by her sexual orientation, and the inability to be “cured”of it in Christian circles, does beg the question whether her brethren always treated her in a helpful way.

        We all know brethren can be pretty toxic at times and cause the most terrible spiritual pain and trauma – that is why King David said: “I am in great distress. Let us now fall into the hand of the LORD for His mercies are great, but do not let me fall into the hand of man” – King David knew how harsh and judgemental humans could be. It will be before their own maker Vicky and Jackie will stand or fall – I hope they will both stand 🙂

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  8. This is a truly beautifully written book. I, too, wrote about it in my blog. My blog is titled, “The Heart and Power of the Gospel.” Although, I have not struggled with same-sex attraction, I can identify w/ Jackie’s story in so many ways. Simply put, both Jackie and I were sinners in need of a Savior. It was the heart and power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that saved us both period. ❤

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  9. Like I’ve already posted, I have read Jackie’s book, but I have not read Vicky’s. Based on the comments I’ve read above, I would like to say a few things. Jackie came to faith not through any church affiliation, but on God and His word alone. This is how I came to faith as well. It was His word that penetrated my heart and opened my eyes to see that the life I was currently living was not acceptable to a Holy God.

    When we try to change in any way through pleasing man, it is for the wrong motivates and will be very discouraging to point where we want to give up. That’s why Gods word says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,” Colossians 3:23. Man is NOT the proper motivation to help us in any area of our lives, because man is sinful and will fail us. But, God is the ONE who holds the power to change us from the inside out. God can take the impossible and make it possible. “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

    If Vicky was looking to the “church” to save her, she was looking in the wrong place. And, it’s no wonder she turned away from it. The church can be wonderful in so many ways, but it’s definitely not perfect and it cannot save a person. Only God can. Of course, I don’t know for certain if this is what happened with Vicky, I’m only commenting based on what’s been said here. So please do not accuse me of judging her, because like I said, I don’t know if this is the case.

    What I do know is Jackie’s story. Just like myself, Jackie turned to God, not the church, to save her. And as she testifies to, the changes God caused in her and her life did not happen overnight. It was a process. That’s called sanctification. In which that process continues until the day we meet Jesus in heaven. I, too, have not arrived by any means, but I am also no longer the person that I once was.

    Both Jackie and I, though our struggles in some ways have been different, will need to continue to rely on God’s strength and power to resist our old ways of living and take up our Cross daily to live for Him daily. That’s the key. It’s a daily walk. Not a one time event. Anyways, thanks for anyone who has chosen to endure this long read.

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    1. I’ve not read either book – I just know of them, however the impression I get is that Vicky didn’t look to the church to save her – I think the words of the song she wrote in 2010 “Undivided Heart” shows that quite clearly – she looked directly to the Lord. But what happens when you’ve been brought up a Christian and spent your life in church circles is you can come under the pressure of how it views people, and be influenced by its teachings – for good or for bad.

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      1. Its always dangerous to comment on books you have not read! If you had read Vicky’s you would see that there was no indication that she was relying on the Lord. She seemed to be looking at her career and her orientation….Christ is hardly mentioned in the book!

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      2. I was meaning before she wrote the book! Her songs indicate a strong faith in the Lord (not reliance on the church). I am guessing that as she spiralled down into a suicidal state she most likely suffered a crisis of faith, I don’t know, but loss of faith often goes hand in hand with a mental and physical breakdown – people feel abandoned by God and find it hard tor relate to Him any longer. She lived with her orientation and managed her spiritual life a long time before she came out as gay from what I gather. Yes she lost her career when she came out, the rejection was clearly extremely painful. So I’m not surprised it features in the book. I’ve got it on my Kindle to read but haven’t got round to it yet!

        ….and yes “The Judge of all the earth will do right” so we can safely leave Vicky and Jackie in God’s hands, whatever their future holds. …..Jackie has a long way to go yet, she’s got a lot to learn.

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      3. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. All I know from experience, as well from the testimonies of others, that it really comes down to your personal relationship with the Lord. Loving Him FIRST and foremost, and living according to HIS standard of what is right or wrong, sinful or not sinful is all that truly matters. I believe this is what Jackie has chosen to do for her life. It’s not an easy walk to choose by no means, which Jackie confesses to in her book. But, it is a choice that honors God and that’s what’s most important. Once again, thank you for respectfully sharing your thoughts and insights with me. I apologize that it took so long to both read and respond to them. ❤

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  10. In response to some of these comments, as I continue reading and studying the scriptures I’ve realized that Jehovah God is not homophobic. He does not hate homosexual people but does not support the act of homosexuality. When he created us he created man and woman to be together (Matthew 19:5). However, he does not give up on us if we struggle with homosexual feelings. Sexual immorality, whether heterosexual or homosexual, is a temptation that many struggle with and will continue to struggle with until God’s Kingdom. 1 Corinthians 6:9,10 clearly outlines acts that are displeasing to him but verse 11 says “yet that is what some of you were…” God understands that we’re a work in progress (Psalms 103:10-13). So since we’re all imperfect and each have our own vices we can’t act like a homosexual person is more sinful or more disgraceful than someone that’s a habitual liar, or gambler, or drunkard. We have to focus on “getting the rafter out of our own eye” (Matthew 7:3-5) before pointing out the sins of others. Thank you for informing us about this book. It’s something I never would’ve known existed had you not created this post.

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  11. Back on 19th September you said “I have no idea if Vicky lived a ‘holy’ life. I can’t judge that” – but Vicky does say in her book that she’d never acted on her feelings for girls “Not so much as even the briefest kiss, despite the fact I was nearing thirty. All of it was locked away inside as I tried to impeccably do the right things by my Christian values. As I saw it, I’d chosen God instead of these attractions, pursuing holiness instead of sin” .

    …..so from those statements are you not able to judge anything by that? Did you read the book in detail or just gloss over it? Or maybe you just don’t believe what she writes in that statement ?

    This is what I meant that comparing the two girls is difficult because Vicky didn’t act on her feelings for girls for many years (don’t even know if she has now, but am guessing she maybe has found love) where Jackie did – in a big way – so one enjoyed giving full reign to her desires, the other suppressed her feelings and desires, and lived in shame because of who she was – not because of anything she’d done: I thought that was a telling point Vicky made in her book. While it seems black and white to just say “obey Christ” the mental health issues aren’t so easy to navigate. I hope God understands things like that.

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